He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's always time for handjobs
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
