some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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