Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
