I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
