Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...

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(270): View more from Kentucky

guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.

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(407): View more from Florida

he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse

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(785): View more from Kansas

Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox

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(818): View more from California

They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.

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(212): View more from New York

He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.

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(248): View more from Michigan

We need to make tonight low-budget

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Is this your way of suggesting flasks?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

My life hurts

(615): View more from Tennessee

I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake

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