I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize