your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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