i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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