Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I smell stomach acid.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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