i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
