i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
