K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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