I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
