After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Randomize
