it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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