i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
