i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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