Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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