that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
