Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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