We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
