maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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