I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
