are you so shy because you have an std?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
