okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
