Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
