Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
