That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
