If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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