Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
