Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
