so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
