i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize