Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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