THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
