who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
