You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
