Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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