I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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