she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
