So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
