U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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