Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war

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(716): View more from New York

I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?

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(407): View more from Florida

Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.

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(802): View more from Vermont

You want anything?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Gatorade and you naked.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.

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(519): View more from Ontario

If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.

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(619): View more from California

Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

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(417): View more from Missouri

You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.

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