then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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