Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There r osticjed everywhere
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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