I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
