Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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