I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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