I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize