Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
