sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
