Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite

(917): View more from New York City

get a pic

(718): View more from New York

i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that

(917): View more from New York City

i want ur life

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(630): View more from Illinois

The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.

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(631): View more from New York

Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.

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