ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
