Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
