doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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